His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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