try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize