So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
