so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
