at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
