i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
nutella sex= disaster
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
