I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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