Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
