I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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