the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
