Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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