Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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