I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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