I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
