so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
