My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
