do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
