You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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