Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
