You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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