talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
