these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
