We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
