Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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