these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
time to smoke my breakfast
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
