He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
