Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
