i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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