JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
