I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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