I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
