I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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