I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
