my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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