I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You ruined the universe
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
