I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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