Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
