you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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