I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
