bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
