Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
