Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
