I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
