So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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