ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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