i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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