did you get engaged???
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
