I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
