i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
