Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
