i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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