help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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