found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
