The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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