I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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