you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
