No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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