is your mom at the bar?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
